Friday, 16 May 2014

Friday Pants

I want to talk to you about an important issue, my friends. It's something that affects us all, something that unifies and unites us. I want to talk about an item that we all own, that we take for granted, that deserves a little more love.

Today, I'm talking pants. 

Let's define our terms. The word "pants" in this context is not the American definition. My colonial friends, if you insist on using the word to describe "trousers", don't be surprised if we English stifle a childish snigger. For all right-thinking citizens of the world, when we say "pants", we mean "underwear." 

The thing is, underwear is just as much a fashion piece as any other item of clothing. And yet, it's the sector of the market that simply doesn't get as much attention or respect. Most Brits are happy to buy their pants in bulk, and supermarket pants seem to be an acceptable purchase for many. 

But think about it. Pants are there to cradle, coddle and flatter the most intimate and delicate of our man and lady parts. Why should we skimp on them? Why is it that we'll spend a fortune on a new pair of strides or a fancy dress, then underpin the ensemble with a greying pair of George from Asda grundies? 

No, my friends, we can do better than that. 

Nukleus are a company committed to the creation and manufacture of the finest ethical underwear. Their mission statement has sustainability and respect for their workers baked in. They have a partnership with the World Wildlife Fund, and seem serious and committed to the cause of better underpants for all. They're made from organic cotton, certified to be pesticide and toxin free. More importantly, they team their social conscience with good design. The clothes look good, feel good and do the planet good. 

The basics market is a tricky one, prone to a "that'll do" attitude from both designers and consumers. Maybe we just don't want to think too hard about pants. Maybe we should. Maybe we should all think really hard about pants today. 

Oh, look, OK. Part of the problem here is that pants are inherently hilarious. Our sense of humour is stuck in the playground and, no matter how good a job Nukleus do with their lovely pants, it's tough not to snigger. When Nukleus team a sales pitch like this: 

The earth does not belong to us. We belong to the earth.
The Earth Series is a sartorial masterpiece that honours the earth we walk on. Every stitch of the fabric, every shred of material, every loop of the needle that went into the making of this innerwear is a reminder that we have only one earth.

with an image like this:

you can see the problem. The difficulty with writing about pants is that you end up visualising people in their pants. And that, my friends, is always funny.

So, there we are. Pants. Good for the planet, good for your wobbly bits. Good for a writing exercise where I see how many times I can fit the word "pants" into one article.

Have a nice weekend.


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